A New Identity — Lawyer to Parent Lawyer
How lawyers can find community and pivot their practice as they transition to parenthood
Nine Months
Traditionally, it takes nine months to have a baby and, coincidentally, this is the very same timeline to complete articles. In the end, a new identity is born. A parent. A lawyer. While this comparison fails to take into account the physiological and psychological differences (not to mention makes a lot of assumptions of a seamless timeline) between these two events, it is simply used to highlight this idea of an identity shift. Becoming a lawyer like becoming a parent is a shift in a person’s identity. Both test a person’s confidence, trigger anxieties and feelings of self-doubt resulting in countless nights with little to no sleep coupled with endless “Google searches”. Every decision and every action or inaction may potentially have a major impact on a vulnerable person’s life (baby or client). It’s even more challenging when a person is doing it on their own.
Whether they are a primary/single parent or a sole practitioner, the challenges that come with these identity shifts raise the question of “who am I as a parent and a lawyer?” and “are these two identities possible to maintain together?”
Finding Community & Fighting Isolation
After about six weeks, the medical community that supports a new parent slowly starts to disappear, the meal trains stop, and most people find themselves eventually in a place where they are alone with a baby and have to figure out how to get through the day-to-day.
About 32% of lawyers in British Columbia are sole practitioners. Among them, a significant number are parents, including many who are new parents. As self-employed professionals, these parent-lawyers often lack access to maternity leave benefits, leaving them to juggle the demands of sustaining their practice while raising a newborn. This dual responsibility raises the pressing question: how can one effectively manage the time and energy required to run a legal practice and care for a baby simultaneously? They are trying to work and keep practising all while being new parents. How does one find the time and energy to sustain a practice while raising a baby?
For those in this situation, having access to virtual and in-person communities is essential. Whether it be a WhatsApp group of dedicated lawyer parents, Facebook groups, child-minding, or co-working spaces, having access to community that serves the unique needs of lawyer parents is critical in supporting this identity shift. Groups like this help to fight isolation, feelings of guilt and shame, offer resources, and confirm many of the challenges and lived experiences unique to lawyer parents. Being a lawyer is being a member of a unique club — many lawyers spend a lot of time with other lawyers and talking about law. Combining lawyering and parenting is a brilliant way to get the “fix” of being amongst peers but also knowing that others exist in this identity-shift space is affirming and encouraging.
Pivoting Practice — How Unbundling Can Support Parenting
Practising law while parenting is challenging, especially if one is a sole practitioner. Sometimes a traditional practice is unsustainable in these times. Many people, especially sole practitioners, are presented with a difficult question of how to continue to practice. While in an ideal world, it would be so wonderful if everyone had the choice, many decisions are impacted by financial circumstances. For those who have to continue to earn some level of income to support their families, looking toward ways to pivot a practice that supports parenting might be the way to go.
Providing limited scope or unbundled legal representation is a way to combat anxieties from “billing by the hour” practices. With the use of technology and remote client meetings, legal services can be offered in a variety of ways, such as flat-fee packages for services like estate planning, advice on legal agreements, review of court documents drafted by the client and much more. It seems that the average client in law is looking for cost-effective solutions and easy access to law these days (similar to Uber or meal delivery apps). As solo-lawyers/parents there is an opportunity to provide flat-fee services and limited legal services in these situations.
The Law Society of BC Code made changes to allow lawyers to offer limited services for discrete tasks under rule 11-1. Initially this rule was created as a response to the ongoing issues with access to justice for everyday people with everyday legal problems. Over the years, those advocating for the provision of unbundled services have discovered that there are many advantages for practitioners as well. Lawyers who practice this way tend to report a better work life balance and less burnout. As parents, these are invaluable benefits, which can allow parent lawyers to spend more time with their families and be more present. This can help to create schedules that are more flexible and support spending more time with babies and working around childcare. Being open with clients about this new shift in identity may open up pathways to empathy. A lot of clients are experiencing major identity shifts while navigating legal issues (such as death or divorce). Understanding how the identity shift from being a lawyer to parent impacts an individual can help to create legal solutions and services that help support the new identities of other parent clients (thinking of estate family law services here).
Two Identities are Possible
Being a lawyer and a parent is possible! Once a lawyer parent starts connecting with community a sort of precedent library starts building and this helps to build a strong foundation for growth and evolution within both identities. Sharing the lived experiences and the discoveries made both in parenting and in law are both vital and validating during this very challenging yet rewarding time in an adult's life.
The good news is, it doesn’t have to be paid support, there are many ways to find community in this wild period of transition. Parenthood is a life-changing experience, but it isn’t the only thing that defines individuals, especially those who are also legal professionals. The world in many ways has become smaller due to the ability to share information and knowledge using technology and it is certainly there to help support the growth of identities. The challenges, both in lawyering and parenting, are certainly real but there is real hope in using the knowledge from both to guide and support each role.
